The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

Following the SELLOUT success of Cinderella & Aladdin, Made to Measure Productions are BACK on the road with a hilarious new P*ssed Up Panto – Jack and the Beanstalk!

Have you ever watched a pantomime and wondered what mischief the cast would get up to if there weren’t any children in the audience? What happens when the cast have had one-too-many?! Now’s your chance to find out…!

This unique production is not for the faint-hearted - it’s panto as you’ve never seen it before! The show is packed to the brim full of innuendo, hilarious comedy routines, parodies of well-known songs and audience participation, creating a performance that’s sure to be hilarious, cheeky, saucy and sometimes just a little bit naughty...okay...very naughty...!

Along with all the usual adult panto fun, the audience vote each night for the one performer who must complete savage drinking challenges throughout the show. As the victim gets slowly more and more sozzled, they must, along with the rest of the cast, keep the show rolling on to it’s happy climax...!

Starring a whole host of experienced, professional pantomime performers, and one or two professional drinkers, alongside a dazzling ensemble cast, stunning scenery, great music and side-splitting comedy routines this is a night that audiences will remember for the rest of their lives!

Just how impressive is Jack’s Beanstalk?! There’s only one way to find out…boys and girls!

Please Note: This production features strong language, adult themes and is not suitable for the easily offended.

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

Richard Blackwood brings his jam packed hour of pure heavyweight punchlines and anecdotes. Get set for a night that’s not just comedy – it’s a rollercoaster of laughter, stories, and a sneak peek into Richard’s incredible 30-year journey.

Celebrating three phenomenal decades in the game, Richard Blackwood got us laughing on the Real McCoy, has conquered MTV, owned Top of the Pops, graced the sets West End Theatres, EastEnders and Hollyoaks, and showcased his culinary chops on MasterChef.

A true British icon, his diverse experiences add layers of humour and depth to a night you won’t want to miss.

Don’t sleep on this exclusive comedy event. Tickets are flying off the virtual shelves, and you definitely want in.

Catch Richard Blackwood : Live for an evening of laughter, storytelling, and an intimate look into the world of a seasoned industry pro.

Age advisory 16+

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

Woodville Studio, Civic Centre, Gravesend

Join Milton as he tries out new material!

“He’s fast, absurd and very Funny” Radio Times

‘No-one can touch Jones when he hits his stride’ The Guardian

Running time: 70 mins with no interval

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

Apollo Theatre Company presents Galton & Simpson’s Hancock’s Half Hour: The Lost Episodes

From the producers of the critically acclaimed tours of Round the Horne and The Goon Show comes another radio comedy classic live on stage.

In 1954, Tony Hancock burst onto the airwaves of the BBC Light Programme with a comedy show unlike anything the British public had heard before. Playing a less successful version of himself and surrounded by a cast of fellow comedy greats including Sid James, Hattie Jacques and Kenneth Williams, Hancock’s Half Hour was one of the first programmes in the genre we now know as sitcom.

Written by young up-and-comers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson, who later went on to create Steptoe and Son, Hancock’s Half Hour redefined radio comedy and has had people laughing non-stop for the past 65 years.

So come and take a trip to 23 Railway Cuttings, East Cheam to join ‘the lad himself’ and his motley crew for three classic episodes of this hilarious show.

Reviews

★★★★ "a hugely entertaining evening" - lastminutetheatretickets.com

★★★★ "you can almost believe you’re actually in the presence of Tony Hancock" - setthetape.com

"a most welcome trip down memory lane" - Pocklington Post

"absolutely flawless and completely captivating" - Weston Mercury

"an immaculately played recreation" - York Press

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

Step aside HG Wells, take a break Jeff Wayne, go back to your trailer Tom Cruise, Lamphouse is tackling War of the Worlds and they’re doing it…..on a budget!

War of Worlds (on a budget) features one actor, a loop pedal, lots of cardboard, many many hats and at least two absolutely terrifying (definitely not made out of paper) tripod puppets. Can our hero outrun the aliens, play 25 characters, unwind himself from the microphone cable, stop for a tea break and save the day before it’s too late?

Featuring a full soundtrack of brand new music, and paying homage to HG Wells’ story with a few extra silly additions, War of the Worlds (on a budget) is the musical comedy action adventure we didn’t know we needed!

Suitable for ages 12+

★★★★★ Theatre Scotland

★★★★ The Stage

★★★★ The Reviews Hub

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

Woodville Studio, Civic Centre

Maz Pantz
Maz Pantz is a solo comedy sketch show which uses mime, slapstick and multi role to take you, the audience, on a bonkers, dark humoured and frankly insane journey. With wacky characters finding themselves in strange situations, this show uses minimalistic props and costume to merge into each character’s world. Not suitable for children or prudes please.

Social Media:
Instagram: @mary_ellen_redmond
Twitter @maryredmond123
TikTok @maryredmond96

—

Phil Green
After attending four weddings from four different generations last year, Phil finally figures out the reasons behind his breakdown a decade ago. Following a sell-out debut at last year’s Edinburgh Fringe, an Amused Moose Best Show Comedy Award nomination and a sold out night at London’s Soho Theatre, Phil brings us his highly personal new show. Are millennials the last generation to be trapped by parental expectation? Did the internet make or break us? Is a midlife crisis really even a crisis? As heard on BBC Radio 4 & BBC Sounds, Phil has also amassed millions of views for his TikTok comedy sketches.

St Andrew’s Quayside, Gravesend

Naked Frank Theatre’s ‘PISSED OFF POETRY’ promises a selection of raucous and ridiculous performance poetry skits about trivial little things that get on their tits.

Performing at St. Andrew’s Quayside on Saturday 10th, the set will be followed by an open mic event for selected audiences to indulge in the irritating idiosyncrasies of human existence, and perform their own pissed off prose.

Performed pieces will automatically be selected into the Passionate Poets Competition, with prizes being awarded to first, second, and third place winners.

This FREE event is for anyone you know who would love a playful bit of fun in the sun.

Iron Pier Brewery, Northfleet

Naked Frank Theatre’s ‘PISSED OFF POETRY’ promises a selection of raucous and ridiculous performance poetry skits about trivial little things that get on their tits.

Performing at the Iron Pier Brewery on Friday 9th, and St. Andrew’s Quayside on Saturday 10th, the set will be followed by an open mic event for selected audiences to indulge in the irritating idiosyncrasies of human existence, and perform their own pissed off prose.

Performed pieces will automatically be selected into the Passionate Poets Competition, with prizes being awarded to first, second, and third place winners.

This FREE event is for anyone you know who would love a playful night out with some craft beer, or a bit of fun in the sun.

Love your mates but they’re a drunken liability? Same, mate. Listen as Louise tells us about her mates.
Good, bad and the ugly - Though, less said about Pete the better.

A comedy show from Amused Moose Finalist & Harrogate new Comedian of the Year finalist, Louise Atkinson.
You can never complete a night out with your friends unless someone has cried over their ex, you’ve all made a new best friend in the toilets that you’ll never see again, and you’ve done three laps of the bar looking for Lisa. Seriously though, where is she?
Our friends are our chosen family. From the happiest times to breaking up with friends, grab a pint (of wine) and Louise will recount some of her funniest memories. Hopefully we find Lisa.

Twitter & Insta  @_latkinson_
Facebook & tiktok  @louiseatkinsoncomedy

BYO Drinks & Nibbles!

Woodville Studio, Civic Centre

Pickle Bin is new coming of age show about “Hilarious” and award winning clown, Dru Cripps, looking for a job. The show uses recycled props found on top of a bin (lovingly named Pickle bin) outside of Cripp’s house.

Can you help him find a job during a cost of living crisis?

The show features comedy, music, improvisation, puppetry and surreal weirdness that has to be experienced to understand.

TICKETS VIA THE WOODVILLE

You can follow Dru – @Dru_Cripps on all social media.

Woodville Studio, Civic Centre

Roki is a stand up comedian, who tells funny stories about his crazy past and peculiar present… Oh, and stories about how his autism and ADHD get him into trouble daily. Roki has been performing pretty much all his life – from being in shows like Evita and playing the Artful Dodger with the NYT, to eventually working professionally in the West End and touring.

Matthew Hutchinson is a stand up, writer, NHS doctor, and in the past, DJ from London. Performing since the end of 2014, Matthew was a finalist in the Leicester Square New Comedian and Hackney Empire New Act competitions, and a semi-finalist in the BBC New Comedy Award. His show, “Hostile”, is a mix of observational and autobiographical material, set against the backdrop of the Windrush scandal – exploring the positives and negatives of the black/mixed heritage experience in the UK.

St George's Arts Centre

Liz Guterbock is a native Californian and London based comedian. She’s appeared on Armando Iannucci’s Avenue 5 and has multiple stand-up comedy award nominations including 2022 Union Jack Radio One to Watch, 2021 Leicester Mercury Comedian of the Year Nominee, 2020 British Comedy Guide Pro Performance Award Nominee, 2019 BBC Radio 4 New Comedy Award Nominee, and 2019 Funny Women Finalist. In her wry, story driven stand-up, Liz will give you a good picture of what happens when a Type-A personality moves to Britain, and things don’t exactly go to plan.

A regular on the London comedy circuit, Liz makes appearances at venues like Angel Comedy and The Bill Murray, as well as in regional venues like Oxford’s beloved Jericho Comedy and The Stand Comedy clubs in Glasgow, Edinburgh, and Newcastle (“Solid laughs – very, very polished.” – The Stand Glasgow).

BYO Drinks & Nibbles!

The Woodville Studio, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

The kings of improvised comedy are coming to save The Woodville.

The Noise Next Door will be your side-splitting saviours in this once in a lifetime comedy event that will see them take YOUR suggestions of the best, worst and downright weirdest things about Gravesend and transform them into a cavalcade of hilarious songs, scenes and characters. 

The Noise Next Door are twelve-time sell-out veterans of The Edinburgh Fringe and have appeared on ‘The One Show’ (BBC One), ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (ITV1), and ‘Roast Battle’ (Comedy Central). They have also appeared alongside the likes of Michael McIntyre, Katherine Ryan, Romesh Ranganathan and Harry Hill. 

“Hilarious… A superior kind of chaos” Telegraph

“21st century comedy at its finest and funniest.” The Stage

“Comedy gold… Staggeringly well executed.” Guardian

“Phenomenal” Daily Mirror

(Age Suggestion: 15+)

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

Britain is honoured to have spawned two of the most gifted mystics in the world. The coiffured titans of the Unknown- the flamboyant Clinton Baptiste and his Scottish nemesis Ramone Tamine.

Both claim to be a true mystical seer. Something each claims the other isn’t!

Now the time has come for them to meet onstage in a once in a lifetime event to truly decide who holds the title as Britain’s Greatest Paranormalist.

As featured in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights…it’s Clinton Baptiste - and his arch psychic enemy Ramone from Clinton’s massively popular podcast.

The show is for ages 14+.

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

The Mother of all shows. The stuff nobody tells you about parenthood...until it’s too late. 

Whether it’s leaving the house without your bra, crying in the Supermarket aisles for no reason, or secretly thinking you had given birth to E.T. You won’t feel alone when listening to these women portray the “beauty” of bringing new life into the world...or forgetting where they left it. 

An uplifting, honest, heart-warming show that will have you both roaring with laughter and reaching for the tissues. Mum's The Word takes you on an emotional ride through pregnancy pitfalls to teenage tantrums. 

If you’re a mum-to-be, about to have your first grandchild or even the cat’s mother in need of a witty romp through the trials and tribulations of parental life, then this is the show for you.

For all the men who want to know what women want - please take your seats 

“Hysterically Funny” 

“Thoroughly Enjoyable” 

“Impossible to dislike"

The Woodville, Woodville Place, Gravesend, DA12 1DD

"Regularly featuring the cream of British stand-up talent, Off The Kerb Comedy & Curry is a great night out for any connoisseur of comedy” – The Guardian Comedy Club is an unrivalled night of entertainment in Gravesend. Enjoy a tasty curry before the show. Book your tickets and arrive at 6.30pm to give yourself plenty of time. 

Note: all acts are confirmed at time of booking. Occasionally acts may be replaced for reasons beyond our control. If this happens the act will be replaced with a suitable alternative..